24 October 2006

2006-10-24T19:29:54+02:00

Depression

2006-10-24T19:29:36+02:00

Well here I sit contemplating my fight agaisnt depression.

An onging battle, with skimishes and ambushes along the way.

It was good to chat to the doctor today, because a part of me had the audacity to comprehend a life hence forth without this crippling condition that has belied my life on and off for the last 6 or 7 years.

Being reminded or being told that I was depressed was a signal to me that in fact I still have a fight on my hand. There is no good just sitting back and thinking right thats it I cured!

During my years of depression and especially in the last 2 or 3 years a part of myself has increasing wished to help others in any way that I could be effective but without letting my own life drift away.

I became involved with a scoiety at univeristy where I discovered all sorts of issues out there in the world which many people have distint and often extremely passionate views about.
My nature wanted to 'make things right' and explain it to them. This was found to be wanting, I wasnt even able to comfort them without myslef feeling inadequate in some way.

Athough I developed an increasing interest in the world and wanted to learn new things I became aware that to be healthy for anyone is in fact vital to make any sort of difference at all, aswell as the danger or feeling in a postion to help but in fact not having teh emotional stability and resources at home to back this up, hence my intended application to a local university to study international relations. To even be effective on the course of study I was already enagagaed with would take effort to ward of depression and remain focused and active on the course aswell. Despite varying difficulaties I more or less managed this t the stage I have reached today as I write.

I managed to submit my work last year and although I am bound to take a second year module this year to make up for one I failed to complete last, I am for all intents and purpsoses still a student, still 'in with a shout' of obtaining my degree

But what then? well as depression has taken me on for a good few years I intend to take it on pushing it not only back form my life but form the lifes of others. I had held an inetest in teaching adn still think of it somedays. But I think there is no better way of fighting my own depression at the moment by beleieving I can help ither fight it to. This will focuse my mind on beatng this thing or at least keeping it at bay and been abale to function successfully on a day to day basis and re pay the world in postive way.

Comments

Minnie

24 October 2006

Depression